I'm gonna be the next Canadian Dracula.
Sifl & Olly: Gothic ROCK!!!!
The Sifl & Olly Show is hilarious. If you haven't seen it, it consists mostly of two sock puppets, Sifl and Olly, and the stuff that they do on their television show. They have a friend named Chester who introduces them and helps out with various thing, and he occasionally sings. Sifl and Olly start out their show with an interview, they hawk some strange Precious Roy brand merchandise such as Chicken-flavored Air Conditioning and Sasquatch Feeders, they talk to Chester, take calls from the public, and usually end the show with a song.
The reason i made this page is because, in the course of the show, every once in a while something Goth or Goth-like will happen, like the Goth Chick who called Sifl and Olly looking for her missing coffin-shaped purse, or Olly's attempt at becoming the "next Canadian Dracula", or the time the mayor of Transylvania (almost) gave Sifl & Olly keys to the city, or the time the Grim Reaper came to visit. Are Sifl and Olly secretly *gasp* Gothic?
Click around on pictures and links to hear audio files of these scenes.
"What's your favorite color?"
"Black."
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Exhibit A: Stealth
This is Stealth. Stealth hates Olly. Olly drove through Stealth's bar mitzvah in a golf cart, dressed as a beaver. Is it any wonder Stealth hates Olly? Stealth came to visit Sifl & Olly to beat up Olly and to ruin the nice cheery song Sifl & Olly were singing.
Here's how it went:
Sifl & Olly: Well it's okay, cuz Cindy's the hostess. And it's okay, cuz she's the mostest. And it's okay, cuz Cindy's the hostess. She's AOK, and she's the mostest.
Stealth: Blackest wrath... The earth shall crumble... Mountains of your skulls shall tumble. Death, decay, destroy forever.. nightmares... scratching... dreams i'll sever...
Sifl & Olly: And it's okay, cuz Cindy's the hostess. And it's okay, cuz she's the mostest. And it's okay, cuz Cindy's the hostess. She's AOK, and she's the mostest.
Stealth: Smoke and fire burn the darkness. The sickle's swinging; fear its sharpness... Terror sweeps like bats through Hades. Your heart is ticking. Death is waiting!
Sifl & Olly: And it's okay, cuz Cindy's the hostess...
Stealth: She's DOA!
Sifl & Olly: She's the mostest, and it's okay, cuz Cindy's the hostess...
Stealth: She's DOA!
Sifl & Olly: She's the mostest...
Stealth: Writhe and writher, snakes shall slither, through your body as you shiver... Cold and helpless on my dagger...
Olly: Mythology and Jerry Springer.....
It seems that Stealth is actually a death/doom metal fan, not really Goth,but i'm sure he listens to some Goth bands.If you put his lyrics to nice cello arrangement, with haunting female vocals, i think it would make a great Goth song.
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Exhibit B: Goth Chick
This is the Goth Chick, an acquaintance of Sifl & Olly's, who attended their "Goth Night" party. During a "Calls From the Public" segment, she called in and inquired about a missing item.
Goth Chick: Hi, i was at your party last week...
Olly: Oh yeah, which one?
Goth Chick:Oh, it was Goth Night. It was SO dark.
Olly: Yeah, that was fun, man.
Goth Chick:Anyways, i was wondering if anyone turned in a coffin-shaped purse.
Sifl: Nope....
Olly: You'd have to check with the information desk.
Goth Chick: Ohhh, that's not what i wanted to hear. It's SO, so important.
Olly: Was your wallet in there?
Goth Chick: No, no, my guinea pig skeleton's in there...
Sifl: Wow.....
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Exhibit C: Canadian Dracula
Olly wants to be the next Canadian Dracula. Sifl points out that Olly is not Canadian. Olly responds with, "I'm not Dracula, either, but i got what it takes." Then he goes on to sing a song about fake blood. "Fake Blood, you scare me like the real thing, but if you were the real thing, you'd scare me more."
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Exhibit D: The Grim Reaper
The Grim Reaper paid a visit to the Sifl & Olly in the place of some unfortunate scheduled guest who would never get another chance to appear on the show. Sifl & Olly asked him what kind of music he liked (surprisingly NOT Goth) and his favorite color.
("Black.")
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Exhibit E: Haunted Spaceship
Olly does a book report and sings a song about a Haunted Spaceship inhabited with ghosts of dead aliens.
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Exhibit F: Hand Model
Precious Roy has a hand model who shows off some of his spectacular products. You too can buy these wonderful products in the comfort of your own home. How do i know she's Goth when all we see is her lovely hand? Simple: just look at her black nail polish and spiked bracelets.....
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Exhibit G: Mayor of Transylvania
The mayor of Transylvania offers Sifl & Olly keys to the city. After Sifl begins pestering the Mayor, asking whether certain spooky breakfast cereal characters live in Transylvania, the Mayor revokes his gift.
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Exhibit H: Goth Chick (again)
The Goth Chick makes another call to Sifl and Olly. She complains that her boyfriend smiles too much, sleeps at night, lays in the sun in khaki shorts, her parents like him, he's not wearing eyeliner, and he bought her Hootie and the Blowfish tickets. When Olly advises that she break up with him, the Goth Chick says, "I can't! I've never been so miserable in my whole life! I love it!"
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Exhibit I: Death
Sifl and Olly discuss life and death, observing that death is the most interesting and shortest part of life, "and it's just gonna fly right by you." Olly realizes that even animals die, and the guys sing a song about animals at the zoo having heart attacks.
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This is the official Sifl & Olly page, featuring videos to download and song lyrics.
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